If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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