Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
