Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
