i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
