I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
