Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
