I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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