Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We need to rekindle our bromance
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
