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you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We are all done wearing pants today
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
