We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
