Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
