she looked like the before picture.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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