your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He felt like a one man threesome
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
