Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do vagina's smell?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
