Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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