i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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