You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
