Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
