If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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