oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
