you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
