its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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