he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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