Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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