I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
