that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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