kristin has been a bad kristin
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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