new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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