Porn is love you can see.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize