You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's just like the Real World with babies
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
