we're blogging at a bar
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
