I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
