U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
