i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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