take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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