She said her name was "party"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
