Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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