That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
