she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize