He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
