I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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