To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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