last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
