some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
