I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's not cheating when I paid for it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
