This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
