Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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