HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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