Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
