did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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