That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I intend to get homeless drunk
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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