I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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