She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
