you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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