If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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