found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
