If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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