Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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