Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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