shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
